December 31, 2008 ~ Slogan ~

This came to me in the tanning bed yesterday. For whatever I do I think I like this:

S tanding
T all.
R eaching
O ut.
N ever
G iving up.
E nding
R age.

I also have an idea to put pictures and statistics to a song I have in mind. I'll need assistance so we'll have to chat about it sometime. And by "we'll" I mean the 3 of you who read this..HAHAH!!!

December 30, 2008 ~ My Passion ~

For a while now I have been wanting and praying for a way that I could make a difference in the lives of abused women/children. It crosses my mind a lot and I always ask God to show me what He wants me to do. I went through hell for a reason. I've been asking God to open the right doors. Last night at my parents house the news was playing as I was talking to my mom. I just had to tell her to hold on a minute as the following story ran...and I listened:

"Little Rock - A state legislator says that to counter domestic violence, there needs to be something more than a protective order to keep an abusive person from hurting someone. Representative Dawn Creekmore of Hensley says she will work next month in the legislative session to get support to strengthen the state's domestic-violence laws. Creekmore says her proposals will include making repeated violation of a protective order a felony, making choking someone a felony, and doing away with the statute of limitations for rape and first-degree sexual assault. Currently, repeat violation of a protective order is a misdemeanor. Creekmore says her proposal would make the third violation a felony. She also says that choking someone often is the first physical act in domestic-battery case. Her proposal would make it a felony, punishable by three to 10 years in prison. "

Wow!! This is what I've wanted for the past 5 years...to change the laws. I just didn't know how. I plan to call the Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence and see if there is anything I can do to help in this incredibly important issue. I ask that you please pray that if I am supposed to be used by God in this issue that he open the right doors and close the wrong ones. Even if this post is all He has me to do...pray that it spreads and these new laws become effective. Too many lives are lost to domestic violence. Too many children have to deal with this on a daily basis. Please pray with me about this as it is my passion!

December 12, 2008 ~ Gravy For Days ~

Last night we decided that we would have breakfast for dinner. Charles came over and we went to pick up Camryn from dance and then to the grocery store to get the things we needed. He said he would make eggs, bacon, biscuits, fried potatoes and asked if I could make gravy because he can’t. Now, I have tried to make gravy before and my precious lil daughter TRIED her best to eat it. When it was all said and done, we ended up throwing it away. I just can’t get it right…it never tastes like my Momma’s. However, last night I though I’d give it a whirl. We figured between the two of us and Mimmie’s recipe we could get it right. So, we cooked the bacon in my electric skillet. It cooked up good and had plenty of “fat” to make the gravy with. I got my stuff all out and said “let’s do this”. Charles got the flour and began to pour….and pour….and pour. I kept saying “I think that’s enough flour. We are gonna have a lot of gravy” to which he responded “It’ll be ok…we gotta get rid of the grease”. So he kept pouring and pouring. We finally soaked up everything and half a gallon of milk and 3-4 small cups of water later, we had gravy that would eventually plop off the spoon….and I had HUGE arm muscles from stirring. We figure if we keep trying, one day we’ll perfect the art of gravy making. In the mean time we’ll laugh about our first experience. Lesson number 1: less grease and less flour!!!!

December 11, 2008 ~ Amazing Grace How Sweet the Sound ~

Nine years ago today I chose my own path. I went down the wide, flat, easy rode that I wanted. I disregarded the signs God was giving me and turned a deaf ear to the direction God was telling me to go. Six months prior I had met a man who I thought I was in love with and who I thought loved me. “Andrew” seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. He was a Christian man who went to church and studied the Bible. He worked hard and was the owner of a successful construction company in Nevada. He had 2 boys who he had custody of because their mother was such a horrible, drug abusing woman. He loved his family and spending time with them as often as possible. He loved me and I was everything he had been looking for his whole life and he knew God had sent me to him. He wanted to marry me and he would take care of me. I would never have to want for anything ever again. As long as we kept God the center of our family, we would be happy. As the six months passed I discovered that “Andrew” was not his name...but he only told me that because he didn’t want his ex-wife to know he was in town. He would yell and get mad when I wanted to spend time with my friends…but that was just because he didn’t know them and his ex had cheated on him so trust was hard for him. He would call me names because I spend time with my best friend, Ashley…but that was because his ex was bi-sexual so again he didn’t trust. He would accuse me of anything you can think of….but it was because we were so far away from each other. Once we got together, in Vegas…1500 miles away from my family and friends and everything I knew, things would be so much better. You see God was giving me signs….billboards even. But in my own stubborn pride and selfishness I chose to ignore Him. Nine years ago today I said “I Do”. “I Do” to a life of depression and anger. “I Do” to a life of abuse. Four years of walking on eggshells, afraid to do or say the wrong thing. Four years being scared and beat down by the one man who was supposed to love me forever. I couldn’t understand why God was putting me through that. Why He would let that happen to me. However, I was the one who chose that path…I made my bed and God allowed me to lay in it until I finally realized that I was not in His will. God never stopped loving me. Every single time I would pray for a way out God would give me one. I would cry in the shower for a way out of the life I was in…when I was locked in the closet God was with me…when I would lock myself in another room and was too afraid to sleep God was with me…when I found countless proofs of my ex’s unfaithfulness God was holding me up. When I felt that I was trapped forever and there was no way out, I would cry out to God and every single time He made a way for me. So many times I would again choose my own path…stay and stick it out. Even though I refused God’s help over and over and over again, He never left me. His promise to never leave me or forsake me stood true. When I finally listened to God and got out of the hell I was in, it was scary, however God protected me and has brought me so many blessings that I certainly do not deserve. For this I lift up praise to my Deliverer:
Dear God, Thank you for never leaving me even though I disobeyed you on this day nine years ago. You never left me and you protected me through it all. Thank you for your deliverance, for your mercy and your grace in my life. Thank you for the trials and the lessons you taught me through them. Thank you for the beautiful little girl you gave me out of the darkness and the bond that we share. Thank you for keeping your hands over me and protecting me. Thank you for never giving up on me and always providing an escape. Thank you for your abundant love and grace on me. I pray that you receive all glory and honor from this because you are worthy and holy. King of King, Lord of Lords, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, MIGHTY GOD! I praise your name.

“Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come. T’was Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home”

December 9, 2008 ~ It's a circus around here ~

Saturday we had our first "family" outting. We took the girls to the circus, McDonalds then to look at Christmas lights. Here are a few pics. We had a great time and I was TOTALLY impressed and proud of Camryn. She wasn't a brat or jealous of Alaina. She was very good with her!

My favorite...the tigers

Elephants...one pooped and a guy had to catch it in a bucket...let's all be thankful for our jobs!

Fun times in the car!

Charles spoiling Camryn *sigh*

2 silly girls!!

us!!!

Cheese!!!!!!!! Alaina and Camryn

Me and Cam at the circus

Daddy's lil girl

Just getting settled for the show. It was a lot of fun and everyone got along!

December 5, 2008 ~ Bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do when they come for you? ~

The following conversation ensued in the car the other day and is proof that you should never let your 6 year old watch Cops with you:

Andrea: "Ohhhh, look Cam, someone's getting arrested....that's awesome!"

Camryn: "That's not awesome....they probably have weed"

Andrea: *trying not to laugh* "You think so?"

Camryn: "Yep...Eeevvverrrybody gots weed"

I laughed so hard. I asked her where in the world she heard about weed and she said "Cops". Oh lordy, the things they pick up. That's the last thing in the world I need her going to school talking about. *sigh*

December 3, 2008 ~ O Christmas Tree ~

Well, the tree is up and the stockings are hung by the ....coat closet... with care!!! We got our tree up last night. As we were "fluffing" the branches Camryn said she had to take a break cause it was "pokey and cheesy and hurting her hands". I said "Cheesy?" She said "yeah". I asked her how it was cheesy and she said "ya know, like you said about that garland we took back to Dollar General". (I bought some lighted garland that was cheap and "cheesy" lookin and she heard me say that.) I said "ohhhh cheesy means like....goofy or something". Later as we were decorating she said something silly and said "I'm just being cheesy". I about fell out on the floor. Poor thing, she wanted to use that word so bad, just couldn't get it in the right context. I explained that it meant it looked fake or ugly looking. After we got all the "cheesy" branches fluffed I discovered that I couldn't find my lights so we had to make a quick trip to Dollar General to get some lights for the tree. I ended up getting some pretty sliver ribbon too. I just have to get some more curly things and a tree skirt and we're good to go!

December 2, 2008 ~ It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas ~

Last night I made a pot of soup and a pan of cornbread. Momma came over with the ladder and had dinner with us. Then we began the project of putting my my Christmas lights on my first house for the first time!! I was so excited. I even have a mailbox to put a bow on!! I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for where God has brought me. I never would have dreamed, 5 years ago, I'd have a car that was paid for and be a homeowner. It just goes to show that once I finally gave in to God's will for my life and quit holding on to what I thought was right (my marriage) God blessed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined for myself. I had to suck up my pride and give it all to God and trust Him to lead me where He wanted me to go. Not where I wanted to go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, to leave the boys and go through a divorce when I was raised differently. It hurt and I went through some major depression, but I can say every second of it was worth it. God knows what He's doing and it is evident in my life. Every time I drive past a car that has ice on the windshield that has been scraped off, I thank God for my house with a car port. I can't even describe how humbled I am that, after all I've done, God still blesses me. I am truly blessed far more than I deserve. Because, like all of us, I deserve hell. Thanks to God and his mercy I'm set free!

December 2, 2008 ~ Picture Time ~

Me getting the heck out the woods in the sleet.


By the fire...in camo.



No telling what I said here...but gotta love that smile!

This is when he dropped my glove and had to go get it.

My Heater!!! He spoils me! :)

This is us Sunday in the sleet.

He's getting my coffee ready. He's so good to me, y'all!

This was Sunday morning...early!

Us trying to stay warm around the fire Saturday evening.

Hangin' out at camp

Lookin' like one of the guys..chit-chatting with Leon (I have pink under the camo!!)

Scary, huh? (that's one heavy dang gun)

Scared to freakin death. This was after I prayed...when I was about to cry...when Charles realized I was really scared and came over to help me..awww!!!

Yeah, I was tired. This was Saturday morning.

What I looked at for hours on end. *sigh* My dad got excited about this picture?!?!?!?!? Really?!?!?

A-C my art work in the tree at one of my bored times.

Yes, my friends, I am holding on for dear life in this pic.

Charles cooking breakfast...my plate was made and brought to me by the fire..told you he's good to me. :)

Got me a lil wink while I was playing with the camera.

All in all a great weekend!!!

December 1, 2008 ~ Call me Ranger Joe ~

Well, I did it! I hunted. Charles picked me up from Barbs Friday night around 6:30pm. He showered at her house then we loaded my stuff in the truck. I’m always one to be overly prepared. I’d rather have too much than not enough, so when he pulled my large suitcase outta the car I guess it was a shock. He said “I had all your clothes, babe, what else did you need?” Two days in the woods you never know what could happen. I had to have extra undies, socks, bra’s, clothes, hair dryer, towels, toilet paper, makeup, shoes...DUH. After about a 40 minute drive…15 of which was dirt roads, we made it to the camp site. They had the fire going in the pit so we sat around and chit-chatted by the fire. It was during this time I was informed that when I went to the bathroom, I couldn’t flush the toilet paper. It had to go in the trash can..UGH! I was also informed that when I took a shower I had to get wet, turn off the water to soap up then turn it back on to rinse off so we wouldn’t run out of water. *SIGH*. Anyway, we all got tired and decided it was time for bed. Charles, his sister, her boyfriend and I were all in one camper. We watched a little bit of a movie then it was time to turn off the generator and go to sleep. Let me just tell you…there is no quiet like quiet in the woods. I’m talking ears ringing quiet. Took me a minute to adjust. I didn’t sleep well the first night cause we had about 5 blankets and I kept getting hot and cold. Then at 5:15am…in the dark…before the sun came up…before the early bird even woke up to get the worm…I hear “It’s time to get up”. So, I put on my thermals, hot pink fleece pants, pink socks Charles bought me, camo shirt, camo bibs, orange jacket…pulled my hair back in pigtails threw on the orange toboggan (snuck some make up on), boots and out we went! I really don’t know how anyone shoots anything. I could hardly move in all that get-up. After about 10 minutes on the ATV and hiking up a hill, through pine trees I might add, we finally get to the stand. I faced my fears and climbed up the ladder, get situated, sit for about 4 minutes and say “so this is what you do for 4 hours?” He enthusiastically answered, “yep”. Literally…nothing, people…NOTHING! I tried to be as quiet and still as I could but I have to say, I got bored and restless. I had some hot chocolate then I got hungry and had a pop tart. Then I wanted my book. I read a little of it and decided that I didn’t want to do that. I took a lil nap on his shoulder. Then I decided to get my word search book and do it. I even had Charles doing it with me. I mean really, word search is much more fun than looking at some trees. He informed me that he would not be a happy camper if he missed a buck because of doing a word search. J We had a contest to see who could find the words the fastest. Of course when I was losing I decided we weren’t keep track of it. A little later I had the bright idea to carve our initials in the tree. Charles wouldn’t let me use his hunting knife so I just wrote A – C on the bark of the tree with my pen. After 4 hours of seeing NOTHING..not even a squirrel we went back to camp for breakfast. During breakfast I thought it would be fun to be a true hunter. So I stood by the fire in my camo and asked the guys “Y’all see anything?” They said no so I told them “we didn’t either..they just weren’t movin’ today”. HAHAH!!! It was fun. After breakfast Charles went to move his stand and I took a nap. I was good and asleep when it came time to go back out and stare at more dead trees. He said I did a little better that afternoon with being quiet and still. He said my max is about 2 hours. We finally got to go back to camp and sit around the fire and have dinner. I loved the sitting around the fire part! Then it came time for a shower. I was so looking forward to a hot shower and to wash my hair and feel like a girl again. It was an exciting thought. Charles told me to give the water time to heat up then he went back out to the fire. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and got in. The water was cold. Apparently I didn’t give it enough time to warm up. UGH! I slept much better the second night. We got to sleep late Sunday morning..and by late I mean 5:45am. *rolling eyes* This time Larry, his step dad, gave us a small heater for me take to the stand. On the way I had a pop quiz of the hunting terms I learned like what a rub and a scrape were. We get to the stand and I was pumped, this was the day we were gonna see some action and get a deer. I was SUPER quiet for about 30 to 45 minutes. Then I decided I wanted some coffee. A little later I wanted a pop tart. Then I wanted his phone to text Barb (my phone had no service). We were about an hour into it hunting when I informed Charles that I no longer had toes due to frost bite…I was sure of it. He told me he would take me back to camp, but being the trooper that I was, I didn’t go. I mean, he went through all the trouble for me to hunt…I wasn’t gonna go back to camp and look like a sissy. Instead I stayed and complained! We were sitting there freezing when I noticed he had his gloves off. I told him he need to put them back on and he said “Everytime I put them on you decide you want something”..hahah! I’m spoiled! In the mean time, he dropped my glove and I melted the bottom of his mom’s boot on the heater trying to get some feeling back into my toes. Around ten I heard some ticking and told Charles that it was sleeting. We stayed out a little longer then decided to head back to camp. We got packed up and headed home. It was a super fun time, although I told Charles I was all about the riding the 4 wheeler and camping, but I’d leave the hunting up to him. If I didn’t have him to entertain while I was up in the stand I’d have been bored to death. I only almost cried once and that was the first time I had to come down from the stand. He raised the bar and I could see the ground and I freaked. I told him I was just gonna stay up there forever. But, I did the sign of the cross like a catholic, said “help me Jesus”, and he got on the ladder and walked me through it, placing my foot on each rung! I was never so happy to be on the ground. Anyway, it was a great weekend. Charles said I did good and he was proud of me. I’d even do it again….minus the frost bite and cold shower! Pictures will come soon!!!

November 25, 2008 ~ Please Sit Down ~

I know this is gonna come as a huge shock to most of you...and by 'most of you' I mean all 3 of you who read my page! ;) I'm going hunting this weekend. I will be takin' to the woods with the guy I'm dating, Charles, and his parents. This should be interesting for several reasons, to say the least. I've never been hunting and I'm not huge on watching Bambi or Thumper or Tom the Turkey..or whoever, get shot. It's gonna hurt my heart, I just know it. I know as that shot get's fired, I'll picture Bambi sliding around on the ice or saying "B-B-Bir-BirD-BirD". It's gonna be traumatic. Secondly, I'm terrified of heights so climbing a ladder that is propped up against a tree, 15 feet in the air is gonna be tricky. I'm telling you, I shake and hang on for dear life just climbing up into my parents attic. My hands are sweating just thinking about it. Third, I'm NOT a fan of camo. I swore I would never wear camo and neither would I dress my children in camo. Well, the saying "never say never" is very appropriate as seen in the picture below.


As I was discussing this trip with Charles I said I would go under a few conditions. 1. I have electricity 2. I have water 3. I have a shower. I explained that he can't expect me to jump right into roughing it. This poor guy has borrowed a camper, generator and propane, bought a 2 person deer stand and borrowed a truck JUST to take me hunting. He's amazing. Anyway. Luckily his parents had some camo for me to borrow so I wouldn't be out the money for it if I never went again. I, however, had to buy stuff to wear under it and just around camp. So, I went to Target and got the cutest hot pink fleece pants and a pair of black and gray polka-dot pants. I also got some blue striped pants with he cutest bow to tie them up with...all with matching tops. For some reason when I showed these to Charles all he did was laugh and say "what is this?" and "it has a bow". Hmm?? Oh well! He took my clothes so he could wash them in his unscented laundry detergent because he told me I could not smell like flowers. He told me I could not wear perfume or scented lotion. At first, he told me no makeup. Yeah, that didn't fly with me AT ALL! So we compromised and I told him I wouldn't bring my flat iron and no hairspray if I could please wear make up. That's what relationships are all about..compromise...right? Next we discussed the schedule. We are leaving camp at 5:30am....that's in the morning...before the sun comes up! I told him that was fine, he just needed to wake me up 1 hour early so I could shower and get ready. Apparently, I'll be taking a shower at night so we don't have to run the generator at 4:30am and wake everyone up. *sigh* I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've been told "This isn't a fashion show, Babe". So, maybe say a lil prayer for me this weekend as this is a journey I've NEVER taken before...maybe pray for Charles as well. :) I'll let you know how this goes!

November 18, 2008 ~ Grandmothers are like no other~

I am asking for prayer for my Memaw (Genevieve Gillaspie). She had a lung infection and was very confused and agitated. I got word yesterday that the infection is clearing up but that they had diagnosed her with Dementia. Then I heard from my Daddy last night that for about 30 minutes she did not know who Pawpaw was, she told him to call her when Leon gets home. It just breaks my heart and can’t imagine being married to someone for 60 years and then that person not know who I am. Please continue to lift up Leon and Genevieve Gillaspie through this time. Also their kids (Norman, Tricia, and Paul) grandchildren (Alison, Andrea, Christiana, Anthony Benjamin, Joseph, Ashely, Josh, Nick and Jake) and great-grandchild (Camryn).

Also, my mom got a call yesterday that they were taking my Mimmie (Thalia Curtis) to the hospital because she had a heaviness on her chest and was short of breath. They did an EKG and it showed a narrowing of the Aorta, so they are going to do a heart cath in the morning early to determine exactly what the problem is. Her primary care doctor said that the EKG tests showed that the aorta valve is not functioning as it should which is therefore causing the blood to build up in her lungs thus causing the shortness of breath. Hopefully it will something they can stint. If so, they will do it while they are in there. If not, we are talking bypass surgery. Please remember Joe and Thalia Curtis and my mom and her sister (Alicia and Shelia).

November 17, 2008 ~ Appropriate??? Oh well! ~

This morning I got Camryn's breakfast ready and yelled for her to come eat. She never came. I again told her breakfast was ready to come eat. I heard her in the bathroom saying "My tummy hurts, I'm in the bathroom!" Ok, no biggie. I made her lunch and got it all together in her back pack and she was still not in there. I go to the bathroom and open the door. I was just about knocked out by the smell..but what I saw next will forever be etched in my memory. There sat my daughter on the toilet, completely naked holding her nose. When I walked in she had her nose in one hand and was fanning with the other hand and said "WHEW...can you light a candle or something??" I about fell on the floor laughing. FYI: I did end up lighting a candle. :)

November 11, 2008 ~ NOT CUTE ~

Saturday night Cam and I hung out with my mom for a little while since my Daddy was in the deer woods. When we got home I took off my jeans and put on a t-shirt to get ready for bed. It was cold Saturday so I was wearing socks. Then the following conversation ensued:

Camryn: *looks me up and down* Nice socks Mom!! (she NEVER calls me mom)
Me: What?? You don't like my socks?
Camryn: No
Me: Really? You don't think I look hot in a t-shirt and socks?
Camryn: No, that is NOT CUTE
Me: *being very dramatic* You don't love me anymore?!?!?!?!?
Camryn: *very seriously* I love you but I do not like you in socks and a tshirt....NOT CUTE!

I laughed so much. I wish I had it recorded so you could hear her "I'm grown up" voice she was talking in. Later, our dog jumped on the door and Camryn came into my room and said "WHEW...what was that?? Oh, it was Chewy...that skkkerrrrddd me" OH MY GOSH...she cracks me up!

November 3, 2008 ~Trick or Treat ~

We had a great weekend! Camryn was none other than Hannah Montana for Halloween this year. We try to always be a pair for Halloween. Whatever she is I want to be a part of it. It's just fun for us and Camryn loves it. Last year she was a genie and I was the pot she came out of...I thought it was hilarious b/c well, she did come out of me..haahha..anywho. The year before she was a cheetah and I was a Momma cat/cheetah. This year when she was gonna be Hannah I thought how awesome it would be to be none other than Billy Ray Cirus, her dad. On the show when she's "Hannah" he is "Robby Ray" so that's who I was. Ahhh, the things we do for our kids...

Hannah herself..in the flesh


Yes, my friends, that's me and Camryn


Camryn...uhh...Hannah playing at the church carnival.
Saturday Camryn was with her grandparents so I went out to Wooster to see the guy I'm "talking" to. We went to church that night and ran into my sister. He swears it was set up, but it really wasn't. Sunday he and I went to ride his 4 wheeler for a couple hours. It was so much fun. It was a beautiful day and we rode around in the country looking at houses and just enjoying the day.




Yes, that's me in Camo...who'd uh thunk it?!?!? It was a great weekend!

Ocotber 23, 2008 ~ When the Lights, Go out, In the City...~

Well this has just been an interesting week. I woke up around 4ish this morning and thought to myself that I was kinda warm. I looked at the clock and it wasn’t lit up. In my fuzzy half asleep mind, I couldn’t figure out why my clock was out. Then I realized that the fan was off too. It finally registered that my electricity was out. I heard it was raining so figured that’s what happened. (Thank goodness I went to pay my electric bill yesterday or I would have thought it was cut off..lol). I set my phone alarm so that I wouldn’t over sleep incase it didn’t come back on. Well, it didn’t. Of course, as things tend to go with me, I couldn’t find the flash light and it was still dark outside. So I opened my cell phone to light my way to the kitchen to get the candles out. I had a nice “romantic” shower by candle light. In my mind I was thinking I’ll just have to take my hair dryer and flat iron to work and do my hair there. Camryn had a uniform dress that she could wear however, all my clothes were fresh out of the dryer and wrinkled…can’t use an iron with no electricity. I decided that I would just have to wear something I already wore this week so it would be somewhat unwrinkled. Next hurdle…breakfast. Naturally I’m out of milk, so a quick and easy bowl of cereal is not an option. GRITS!!! Perfect…except, you can’t make grits without electricity for the microwave. AHHHHH, I have a gas stove so I decided to scramble some eggs. I go to turn it on and…electric starter. Thankfully I was smart enough to remember lighting it when the starter didn’t work, so I got it lit and Camryn had breakfast. Clothes…check, Hair...check, Breakfast…check. Makeup! I went to the bathroom. Candle in one hand, powder in the other I began my next task. All the sudden I heard something…TA-DA my fan came on... ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Camryn and I did a little “YAY” dance and rushed to catch up on time lost!!! She still made it to school on time!!! WHEW!

October 22, 2008 ~ I can't make this stuff up...~

Last night was a good night. We got home from dance and I started cooking..lemon pepper chicken, butterbeans, greenbeans and fried potatoes. Outside of my oil being old it was good. I was getting the kitchen clean, while some laundry was going and Camryn was doing her homework. It was one of those nights where things just flowed with our routine until...ANOTHER HUGE SPIDER!!! I really wish I was kidding. I rounded the corner out of the kitchen going down the hall and there it was on the back wall, the same place as the other one, looking straight up EVIL. This one wasn't as big as the other one, but it was close...probably 2.5 to 3 inches. So, I go grab some roach/ant/spider spray this time (so as not to bleach the carpet again) grab a chair (because I'll be danged if I'm gonna stand on the floor and have it run across my foot) and Camryn gave me a flip flop. Yeah right! I told her she was gonna have to give me a bigger shoe than that. Once I was armed to deal with this issues, yet again, I took off down the hall, got in my chair and began to spray. It ran and for some reason, this time I was paralyzed with fear. I could not bring myself to get my hand close enough to kill it with a child's size 13 shoe. It ran into the back bedroom and I, once again being cool calm and collected, went to the kitchen, climbed up on the kitchen table and called my mom. :) I told her that I would need her or my fathers assistance because I had another big spider and it ran and I couldn't find it so I would need them to come find it and kill it. My courage only goes so far. So, Camryn and I sat on the kitchen table until my mom got there. During this quiet time together, I decided that 2 big spiders in one week was too much and that my house was probably infested and that I would NEVER get to sleep, so we packed up and went to stay with my parents. My mom set off a fogger before we left, so hopefully the spiders will be gone. We shall see. Anyway, one lesson in being a single mom....live close to your parents!!

October 21, 2008 ~You look like a monkey and you smell like one too ~

Friday, the 17th Camryn was out of school for parent/teacher conferences. Since she's such an amazing student *bragging* I didn't have to have a conference. I took off work and we went to the zoo to enjoy the beautiful weather. We stopped for some silly pictures, taunted some ape's to fight, ran through the shade to get to the sun, ate some lunch, watched a giraffe pee forever, pretended to drop food to the fish to watch them swim all over each other while we sang "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" from Nemo, fed some birds (thankfully didn't get pooped on) and both decided NOT to enter the dark room where they had the vampire bats. All in all it was a great day.


My lil monkey




Making silly faces...


It's what we do...kinda our thing...

We were lovin' the gorilla's...

I have a monkey and a farmer. We did get some pics of the animals but who REALLY wants to see those??? Camryn did get her first report card yesterday and she made...drum roll please...STRAIGHT 100 A+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!! At least she got something worth getting from her dad! :)

October 20, 2008 ~ Charlotte's Webb MY BOOTY ~

In my previous post I mentioned that I am scared of spiders. I do not like them...I do not like them in a case, I do not like them in a vase, I do not like them dead or alive,I do not like them in a pan, I do not like them Sam I am. Camryn and I have been watching Charlotte's Webb and well isn't Charlotte just lovely... all sweet and wanting to save Wilber and stuff. HA! Well, Thursday night I'm just sitting down on the toilet to go #1 when Camryn walked out of the bathroom (of course she was in there, I can't go pee without her being in there with me). Anyway, she gasped and said "Momma there is a huge spider on the wall". I got up thinking it's gonna be a normal spider...I mean, she is MY child and tends to have a flare for the dramatic. When I rounded the corner and looked up I saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life. Seriously...I'm sooooo not being dramatic. It was probably 3 to 4 inches across. I'm NOT EVEN KIDDING!!!! So, being the calm, cool and collected person that I am, I gasp and yell at Camryn to get up on the couch. I mean really, this thing is huge and I wouldn't want it to jump around the door facing and get on her in the back bedroom. I do the first thing that makes sense and go grab a spray bottle of bleach cleaner, a chair and my largest shoe. You may be wondering why the bleach cleaner...well, in my mind I'm thinking I spray it with bleach and it will slow it down enough for me to smash it. So, I go to spraying with a vengeance. The stupid thing fell to the floor and I just kept on spraying as if my life depended on it. Then *WHAM* I smash it with my shoe. WHEW...seriously, that's the worst part of being single. I'm a firm believer in "the man is supposed to kill the bug". UGH! Anyway, now I have a light spot on my carpet, because it never dawned on me that I was spraying bleach on it. Oh well, it got the job done! And, no, I didn't go pee...I totally lost the urge after that.

October 20, 2008 ~ A Fear Like NO OTHER ~

Friday night I experienced a fear like I had never experienced before in my life. I'm scared of spiders, heights, walking on drainage things in sidewalks, and being stopped under a bridge but Friday was so much worse. I would have rather been 1000 feet in the air, standing on a drain with spiders crawling all over me and a bridge above me than to go through the 10 minutes I went through Friday. Camryn attended a cheer camp last weekend and got to cheer in the basketball game at her school Friday night. Instead of sitting with her mom and grandparents she decided she would rather play in the hall with her friends. I didn't have a problem with that. She is the principals granddaughter and everyone knows her so I felt pretty safe in letting her play. I periodically got up to check on her and would see her running around. At the end of the last game, I took off to go find her so she wouldn't get mixed up in the crowd of people leaving. I circled the gym and didn't see her. At this point, I didn't panic because it is very possible to have just missed her. I circled again checking the bathrooms and still didn't see her. I was fighting the crowd and spotted my parents and asked if they had seen her anywhere. They said they didn't and I guess sensing my panic stayed to help me look for her. My dad stood in one place by the door everyone was going out. He figured since my mom and I were moving it was best he stood still in case she came by. My mom and I took off in different directions circling the gym and practice gym and bathrooms. We passed each other a couple times each time with increasing panic. I couldn't find my daughter anywhere. I can't even begin to describe the since of fear and loss and panic and worry and sadness and just the insane mix of emotions that were rushing through me. I checked out the back doors as thoughts of her going outside and getting lost or someone grabbing her tightened their grip around my throat. I was on the brink of a breakdown, tears already streaming down my face and the idea of having to live without Camryn cutting off what bit of oxygen I had left, when I began to try to find my Mother and collapse in her arms. Then above all the chatter of people in the hall I hear my name loud and clear. I turn around and there stood my mom with Camryn. All I could do was put my hand over my mouth and cry. Camryn looked at me worried and all I could utter was "I couldn't find you". My mom had come across one of Camryn's friends McKenzie and asked if she knew where Camryn was. McKenzie told her she was in her mom's classroom. She was in there safe and sound playing without a care in the world, not knowing the torture we all just went through. Thank You GOD that You knew where she was and protected her. I have never felt so scared and lost in my life. I can't imagine how parents of missing children are even able to function. It has to be only by God's grace that they endure.

Today was the day!!! I just put my very last car payment in the mail!!! WOOHOO…5 long years is finally up. Not that I’ll see any increase in spending money since I’ll be paying for dance now, but at least I don’t have to rely on my mom to pay for it!!! It was so fun to write that check!!!

September 24, 2008 ~ Because I'm Proud of Myself ~

So there is a guy who has been after me for over a year. I went out on a date with him once and wasn’t interested so politely told him we should just be friends. He has been quite persistent in his desire for a date for the past year…to no avail. He recently found out that I’m talking…and I mean strictly talking…to a new guy. He’s funny and funny guys get my attention. Apparently this “friend” of mine doesn’t like this new guy and preceded to tell me that, he didn’t know why he has been going after me for so long because..and I quote… “I mean you’re gorgeous and a good mom…but there’s not much else going on beyond that.” Well my friends that struck me in the wrong way on the wrong week….I had a Julia Sugarbaker moment!!!!!! (in email, but it’s a start!!) Here is my response:
“And for your information…I have a whole heck of a lot more going on than being “gorgeous” and a good mom. Who I might be interested in as a friend or more or for dating or whatever reason, does not determine who I am and what I have going on. Just because I wanted nothing more than a friendship with you, does not make me stupid. Just in case you didn’t realize it, you are not God’s gift to women. There are other men out there who might pique an interest in women. Who those men are has no relation to their/my character. I don’t even know Chris…he may not be my type…he may be a terrible person…I don’t know that. That’s the whole point in becoming friends with someone….to get to know them better. So if you have an opinion of someone and feel it necessary to share it, that’s fine, but for you to insult me and put me down because of someone I might have an interest in, is completely inappropriate.”
I got a quick apology! ;)

September 22, 2008 ~ The Monster Mash ~

My whole life I thought I had no allergies. Until this weekend. Last weekend I was suffering with a bladder infection. I had our company doctor call in an antibiotic for me. I started it last Saturday and had some problems with it upsetting my stomach the whole time. This past Sunday when I woke up I noticed a rash on my neck and chest. As the day went on it spread until it was literally from head to toe. When I picked up Camryn at 6pm she saw it and said “Goodness, Momma, you can’t hug me anymore…you look like you’re turning into a monster”. Can you imagine??? My own child won’t hug me and thinks I’m a monster. *tear*. When we went to bed last night Camryn prayed for my rash to go away..aww..then I woke up and it was even worse and beginning to itch. I also felt as if my lips were swelling. Me being….well...me, thought I was dying. I got in to see my doctor, Dr. Ballard, who I love. He asked me what was going on and I told him that "my daughter thinks I am turning into a monster". I tell him the bactrim story and he checks me out and informs me that I am not turning into a monster, however, bactrim does not like me. He told me that it’s a sulfa drug so from now on when a doctor asks me if I’m allergic to any medication, I have to say “sulfa/bactrim”. I’m relieved to know I’m neither dying nor a monster…so for now, I’ll just look like a freak of nature and be scratching myself like a dog with flea’s until this goes away.

September 10, 2008 ~ Overwhelmed a bit ~

Adventures of a single mom, ehhh??? Alrighty. So, my a/c went out in my house, the a/c company tried to take advantage of me and my living room was flooded…and it’s only Wednesday!!!!! My a/c has not been working right for some time now. It just wasn’t cooling right. When it kept on getting worse…like being 89 degrees in my house when I had it set on 76…I finally called my warranty company, Warrantech, who by the way, I would not suggest anyone using. Anyway…they told me Sears was backed up so they were sending out Natural State Heat and Air. They finally came out Saturday before Labor Day. When I say “they came out” what I mean is, I think they sent a 12 year old boy out. He asked what was wrong, looked at the inside unit and the outside thingy… comes in and gets on the phone with his boss. While he was on the phone I overheard him say “a woman”. Instantly I got mad. So, the boss get’s on the phone and tells me that he’s gonna have to come look at it on Tuesday (Monday was a holiday) but to get me through the weekend they could put freon in it, but my warranty doesn’t cover that and it’s $240 extra…on top of my $50 deductable. Not a problem because I have $240 just lying around waiting to spend it, right?!?! HA! I told him I would just wait on that. Tuesday rolls by…then Wednesday and no show. Finally I get a call from the warranty people who tell me that before NSHA comes to fix it I have to agree to pay for these non covered charges that total $400 DOLLARS!!! I asked what I had a warranty for if I was gonna be out all that money and told them I didn’t agree until my dad could call and tell me what they are talking about. *stupid men spouting off all this stuff they know I don’t understand just aggravates me*. I end up telling Ken who I work with about this and he get’s on the phone with them and they explain that it’s $100 for transition which is upgrading to state codes, $125 to recharge the Freon (which is quite a bit less than the first quoted $240, isn’t it?) and $175 for disposal ie hauling it off. I throw a fit, call my mom who calls a guy she knows in HVAC work. He says those charges are about normal but NOT to pay $175 for them to haul off the coil. So I call the company and get an attitude with the lady on the phone who tells me it’s state law that they haul it off. I tell her to SHOW ME the law that says that. She says she’ll have Richard call. Later she calls back and…ta da…I don’t have to pay the $175. WHEW! JERKS!!! Yesterday, I went home for lunch and step in my living room and squish down in the soaked carpet. AHHHHHHH. Come to find out, some pump tubing had melted together in my attic so the water was not being pumped out…it was overflowing into my living room. My parents and a friend come over and figure out the problem and shop vac up the water…which was probably a couple gallons..no kidding! So, my dad is taking off work today to fix that because it has to be fixed before the a/c is fixed tomorrow!! In the mean time I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to manage squeezing in cooking a healthy dinner, homework, bath and quality time with Camryn all in the 2 hours between the time she get’s out of dance and 8:30pm which is bed time. Also when I’m going to find time to do the laundry, play with the dog, do the dishes, sweep, vacuum, dust and just flat out run a home, while somehow managing to have a social life so that I can meet Mr. Right and not have to do all this alone for the rest of my life. *sigh* Thank you all for coming to my pity party. It’s been real…and it’s been fun…but it ain’t been real fun!
I would like to make a side note that I’m very thankful and blessed for my family who help me out so much. My mom who takes Camryn to dance and pays for it until I pay off my car next month, who also helps Camryn with her homework and my Dad who mows my yard and helps me fix things when they break. I’m VERY blessed! Stressed.. but blessed!

August 29, 2008 ~Face Down~

This is one of my favorite songs right now. It's been out for a while, but with the style of music it is, I haven't understood the words until I really tried to listen(I'm pretty sure that means I'm getting old). Today I looked up the lyrics and fell in love with the song. Thought I'd share:

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

{Chorus}Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now
As she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
One day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down,
A new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say your right again, Say your right again
Heed my lecture

Chorus}
Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now
As she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
One day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down,
A new life she has found.

One day she will tell you
That she has had enough
Its coming round again. (repeat)
{Chorus}
Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now As she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
One day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down,
A new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says,
This doesn't hurt
she says I finally had enough.. (repeat)

August 26, 2008 ~ Jesus Loves the Little Children ~

With school starting, Camryn and I have been transitioning back into a schedule where she actually has a bed time and has to sleep in her own bed etc. Her bed time is 8:30pm. Those of you who know Camryn, know she is a bit of a chicken. She tends to follow me around the house from room to room..ya know, just to chat or just because she wanted a hug, just because she loves me...or whatever other reason she can come up with to answer my question of "why are you following me around?". I mean, I literally can't go to the bathroom alone. Anyway, last night 8:30 rolled around and I told her to go get in bed, I would be in there in a minute for prayers. She obeyed (yippie). I kept hearing her singing, but didn't think much of it. After a little while she would come to me with an excuse to try to get me to come in her room. I knew it was because she was scared, but thought she needed to go get in bed and just try to deal with it. (Thoughts of her in her 20's following me around room to room because she was scared haunted me.) She went back to bed only to come back to me after a few minutes, all the while, I'm hearing her sing. By the 3rd visit by her, it hit me what she was doing. The SECOND she walked out of the room I was in, she started singing "Jesus loves the little children...". I could hear her in her room singing it loudly. All I could do was smile. Bless her heart. Normally when she's scared I tell her to sing "what time I am afraid I will trust in Thee". This time, I knew she was singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" to keep herself from being scared. It was really sweet.

August 20, 2008 ~ An Extreme Experience ~

So, Extreme Makeover Home Edition has been in Bigelow, Arkansas building a home for a sweet 10 year old boy who has suffered most of his life. Who lives in Bigelow and knows this family? One of my best and dearest friends, Barbara! She and I had the once in a lifetime experience of going out to the house as it was being built. They had buses that would take out out to across the street. Let me just say WOW! Camryn and I loaded up Sunday afternoon and went out there. We all 3 jumped on the buss to go see the progress and hopefully catch a glimpse of one of the stars of the show. When we pulled down the street and I saw all the security I started to get really excited, so I devised a plan with Camryn. If we got to meet Ty Pennington she was supposed to pooch out her lip and say "I don't have a Daddy"..pour on some tears and follow up with "will you be my Daddy?" I thought it was fool proof...Camryn on the other hand, told me I was crazy. Oh well, it was worth a shot, right?!?!


As time went on we discovered that Ty was in New York, so we knew we wouldn't get to see him. Surprisingly, that didn't discourage me. This experience was amazing...Ty or no Ty! However, after a while of being out there Eduardo comes out!!! He is.. umm...HOT! After over an hour of him shooting ONE clip over and over (yes we were out there well over an hour..its Extreme Makeover for gooness sakes!!) he finally came over to the spectator fence where I GOT TO GET MY PICTURE WITH HIM!!! Later, as we were standing along the fence I notice Paul walking by. I waved and said hi (trying to play this cool) and asked if I could get a picture. He said sure and came over and let us take some pictures with him. These are some of the nicest people I have ever met! I was truly amazed!


On top of meeting them, I got a $5 discount on the shirt I bought by promising to come back later in the week and model it and got asked out by the project manger!! WOOHOO! What a good day.


I went back yesterday to see how far it's come (and to keep my word in modeling my shirt). It was completely done on the outside. They had the grass down and flowers planted and were pouring the driveway. Flooring was going down inside and they are supposed to be done by tomorrow! Absolutely amazing. Before we went out to the house, Barb and I saw Eduardo at THE store in Bigelow, so of course we stopped. I was walking around a convenient store with EDUARDO!! Even shook his hand. At the house we saw the blonde girl on the show, but didn't care so much about her..lol Yes, I realize I'm a little star struck, but whatever!!! :) By the time we left, Barb and I had made friends with 2 security guards (Jordan and Shag), the t-shirt guy (James Brown..not kidding), Todd the project manager and Adam, the guy who we think only drives around in a golf cart! It has been such a great experience. One I'll probably never have again and certainly will NEVER forget! I'll post more pictures when I can get them. For now, here is this one!

P.S. My date with Todd is Sunday!!!

August 19, 2008 ~ First Grade, First Grade ~

Well, in case you didn't already know, I have a grown child! She started 1st grade yesterday. FIRST GRADE, y'all! That's a number grade...only 12 more. UGH! This year she has to wear a belt. My horror was that she wouldn't be able to undo the belt in time and she would pee her pants. When I asked her if she knew how to work a belt so she wouldn't pee her pants her response was "Uh, yes, Momma" like she was disgusted that I would even ask such a thing. Silly me, it must have slipped my mind that... she's GROWN. *sigh* School day came and she was up and ready to go. Below is a picture of an excited child. She was totally dressed by the time I had my make up on and was putting on her socks and shoes without being told!


This was the middle of her tragedy of the un-matching shoes!


Dear Lord where has time gone? She's not a baby anymore.


Excited about her lunch box!


I can stare at this picture all day long. I can't get over how grown up she is. Right about now she was telling me how her tummy felt a little funny over first grade. There she is...there is my baby who still needs her momma's comfort. My goodness they grow up fast. (I'm just hoping above all hope that they don't start fractions or long division in 1st grade!) So it all begins...my little caterpillar is starting to spin her ca coon.