Wednesday, January 13, 2010

~Kinda a Big Deal~

When I moved back to Arkansas at 7 months pregnant I lived with my parents. Along with that I attended my parents church. It's just what I did. That was a difficult and scary time in my life and I felt safe being with them. It was where I needed to be at that time in my life, however, as time went on I felt that it was not the right place for Camryn and myself. The preacher there was the one who counseled Dwight and I when he was trying to get me back. He later told my parents that in 20 years of counseling he had never come across someone like Dwight and that was the first time he had ever feared for his own safety. So he knew the situation. When he left is when I really started to realize I needed to find a church home that was where God wanted us. Then one day my mom sent an email telling me that if I didn't feel that church was where Cam and I needed to be, that she and my dad wanted me to know that was fine. They know me well enough to know that I would stay so as not to hurt their feelings. They assured me I needed to do what God wanted me to do and they were 100% ok with that....confirmation. God always gives confirmation. So, a couple more years went by because I just didn't know where to try. One church kept popping up in my mind to go to but I kept thinking "it's so far away, I need to find something close".
That church was Vilonia Baptist Fellowship where my sister went for years. Whenever I would go visit, as strange as it may seem, always felt like home. The people were so nice and I LOVED LOVED LOVED the preaching. God ALWAYS spoke to me when I was there. One of my first times visiting was when I was going through a nasty divorce and custody battle. I can't remember what the sermon was about but it touched me and at the end of service I went down to the alter to pray. It was no time and my sister, her friend and the pastors wife where there with a hand on my back praying over me. HOME!
So, I kept putting that church out of my mind because of the drive. Until one day recently I was struggling with somethings and my friend Billie called to tell me she felt like God wanted her to talk to me. I went to her house and she was talking to me about this series of Restoration they were going through at church. She gave me a cd of the first sermon and told me when church started if I wanted to come, if not, she would continue to get me the cd's. I'm here to tell you that that series was LIFE CHANGING. I started going and even though that series has ended every single Sunday God speaks. After months of prayer, Camryn and I joined that church family this past Sunday. It's home, it's where God wants us. It may not seem like a big deal but it's a huge thing to me. It's a huge step and Camryn and I are so excited to see what God has in store for us and the church. (I know because that night while praying, Camryn said "thank you for letting us visit Mrs. Billie's church, we are just excited about that" when I told her we were not visiting we were members now she said "oh yeah, He knew what I meant"). Camryn was saved at age 6 but was never ready to be baptized. For a while now she has been begging to be baptized, so, we are going to get her set up to be baptized! We are so thankful for our new church home and can't wait to see where God leads!

Friday, January 8, 2010

This day gets me every year. It's your birthday! I wake up at 5:13am every year and pray over you while you are sleeping. I pray for Gods protection and blessing on you at the very time you came into this world. You are a beautiful example of what I need to be. You have grown up so much! You make me mad, you make me cry and you make me laugh...a lot! The second you were born I felt emotions like I never knew possible. Fear: from the moment they told me to STOP pushing because the cord was wrapped around your neck and they had to cut it before I could go any further. Love: unconditional from the moment I saw you. Unconditional love is such a powerful thing. Protection: from the time the nurse tried to take you and I didn't see her badge and stopped her to ask where it was. These feelings have not changed a bit. I love you with every breathe I take. You are my precious baby and always will be, even when you're 52 years old!

We have been through so much over the years. So much that you don't even know about. So much I want to protect you from and pray that God never allows you to go through. However, if He does, I pray His protection over you and I pray you grow through Him. There have been hard times. Times I wanted to give up, but you kept me going.

And now look where we are. Not looking back with regret or remorse but looking forward to many more years. I am blessed to have you. You were absolutely sent from God to rescue me.

I love you the mostest!!! Happy 8th birthday!