Last night Camryn experienced a part of life that hurts and seeing my baby go through that just about killed me. I got a text from her Dad that told me that Cocoa, their dog at her Mamaw's house, died and that Camryn probably saw it. I sent a text to Judy telling her I was sorry to hear Cocoa died and asked if Camryn was ok. She told me that Camryn was fine just puzzled by what happened as they were. When Camryn got to my mom's house she was in good spirits so I was thinking it was smooth sailing. We watched Idol (btw...OH MY GOSH!!!) and headed home. On the way Camryn said "It's like I have a record playing over and over in my head". I asked her what she had stuck in her head, thinking it was going to be a song, because this happens to her a lot...she's just got the music in her. Her response ripped my heart out and I knew what was coming. She said, "Go get Papaw and tell him Cocoa is dead...go get Papaw and tell him Cocoa is dead...I just keep hearing it over and over". As she was telling me this her little innocent voice got shaky and then the tears came. When we got home we sat down and I just held her as she cried and kept saying "I just want Cocoa alive". It was killing me. I had no comforting or inspirational words, I just rocked her and cried with her and told her it's ok to be sad and to cry. Y'all it was almost more than I could take. I sent her dad a text telling him Camryn was really upset. He called and she talked to him and her brothers and that seemed to help a little bit. She drew a picture and told me she would always remember Cocoa and for me not to worry that she would get over it. She would pull herself together and then it would hit her again and she would start to cry. It made me think about God's love for His children and how it must kill him and rip his heart out when we are hurting and crying. How He must be holding us and crying with us in our times of trouble, telling us it's ok to be sad and that everything will be ok. His love is amazing!
It is a part of life but I'm telling you I would rather hurt a million times than to see my child hurting like that. And let me just be the first to say....the first guy who hurts her and makes her cry like that better hope he stays away from this Momma!