February 4, 2009 ~ Love of God ~

I'm on a roll today, huh? Anyway. While at work yesterday I got news that a lady here at the office lost her grandson in a fire over the weekend. She sent out an email with pictures of him. I opened the pictures to see the sweet little face of a blue eyed boy who couldn't have been over 4 years old. I later found out he was 3. I didn't have all the details until today, but I was literally sick about it. I lay in bed last night and just cried for the Mother and the boy. I could not imagine losing Camryn. I just can't. His face kept haunting me and the thoughts of how scared he must have been kept playing in my mind. I could not wrap my mind around a mother losing her 3 year old. I can't imagine losing a child at any age, but for some reason it hit me hard. I realized just how fragile life is. I realized that I may not always have Camryn. The thought of her being in bed and my house catching on fire was making me panic. I would walk through fire, literally, to save her. I just can not imagine living life without her. Then it struck me, God knows the pain that mother is going through because He also lost His son. The difference is, God allowed His son to die. He voluntarily went through the pain of losing a child, knowing the suffering that His son was going to go through. Why?? Because He loved me and you and look at how we treat Him. I tried to put myself in that position...not saying I'm God, but to better grasp His love for me. I honestly can't think of one person I would sacrifice Camryn for...especially someone who has done me wrong as we so often do to God. I tried to put it into perspective for my simple mind and thought, would I be willing to watch Camryn suffer and die to save Dwight? Or someone at the office who smiles to my face but puts me down behind my back? So many times we profess to love God at church, then turn and live a life unpleasing to Him outside of church, such as the backstabbers in our lives. So many people just flat out deny God and treat Him terrible to His face, such as Dwight treated me. There is NO WAY I would sacrifice Camryn to save someone like that. As the realization hit me I just had to thank God that He loved me that much. It is completely mind boggling to me. I can't imagine the pain that mother must be going through, but God knows her pain and I pray that he just hold her and comfort her during this terrible time. We can't take life for granted. We can't waste our lives away. God did not allow his child to die for us to waste our lives. That is an amazing thing God did because He loved us that much. To God be the glory for everything in my life. I don't know why He loves me so much because I certainly don't deserve it. We have to strive to live our lives so that His sacrifice is not in vain. Thank you God for loving me so much!