January 9, 2009 ~ Father of the Year? ~

I have felt hurt before in my life….a lot of hurt. We’ve all been hurt or disappointed in our life by the actions of someone or maybe ourselves. It’s not fun. As Mother’s we hurt for our children when kids are mean to them or when they fall and hurt themselves. I personally want to take out a child who is mean to my child (on the same hand I want to take out my child if she is mean to someone else). It makes us angry and mad and hurt. Last night I felt a new kind of hurt. Now, we all know Camryn’s “father” is…well in the words of my precious Grandmother a “stupid ass hole”, but Camryn doesn’t know that yet. I have hurt from the beginning because I know she will not have the daddy that I had growing up. I hurt because I know the things he said about her when she was a baby. However, Camryn never knew…she never had the disappointment I had about that. Yesterday was her birthday of course. We went to eat after dance and home to hook up her Wii. I let her stay up later because it was her birthday. So at 9pm I look at Charles and say “can you imagine it being 9pm and you not calling Alaina on her b-day?” because Dwight had yet to call. I wasn’t going to do or say anything because Cam hadn’t mentioned it. If it didn’t bother her I wasn’t going to let it bother me. Then my sister called. I told Camryn to come to me and she asked if someone was calling for her birthday. I told her yes and then her words stuck me in the heart and I felt a pain and hurt for her like I never have before. She came in the room and said “I’m pretty sure it’s my Dad because he hasn’t told me Happy Birthday yet.” I was angry and hurt at the same time, however it was such a different feeling. I can’t even describe it. I was holding in my tears. I hurt for her so much. After she talked to her aunt Alison I text Chance because Dwight doesn’t have a cell phone and said “Cam is waiting on you guys to call for her b-day. Please don’t disappoint her” Chance didn’t even know it was her b-day which tells me Dwight didn’t even bother to mention to them that it was their sister’s special day. Shall we all write it for him to be Father of the Year or what??