January 26, 2008 ~ Hmm ~

So I'm wondering...The proper way to write a W is..well..you see it. So, why did they not call that "double V" rather than "double U". I mean, it's not 2 u's it's actually 2 v's.

January 12, 2009 ~ It's my party and I'll cry if I want to ~

Saturday we had Camryn’s 7th birthday party at the skating rink in Sherwood. After about 10 minutes into the party I announced that I would never have another skating birthday party. I tried to get a private party, but they didn’t do it at this skating rink so I settled for what they told me was “semi-private” party room. I was told it was in the back and no one else would be in there, just our party. When we got there they pointed me to the table right in the front where everyone goes for snacks. I guess I was already in a little bit of a feisty mood just because of walking in and smelling rotten feet… because I detected a lil attitude in my voice when I asked “Is this considered “semi-private” because I was told that’s what I was getting”. The young girl told me yes and I then asked about a room in the back where I was told we would be. She showed me the room and asked if that’s what I wanted. UHHH YEAH..that’s what I PAID for! Anyway, we get back there and the lights were flashing making everyone dizzy. Charles and Judy went to ask that someone stop the lights from blinking. After what seemed like 83 hours of blinking lights I said “I’ll handle it” and marched my happy self to the front. They finally stopped the lights. Everyone got’s there…all 20+ kids and parents…and began to skate. A little later one of my girlfriends asked if Cam was ok because her friends kept trying to talk to her and she wouldn’t talk. So I grab my daughter’s arm and we go have a “come to Jesus meeting” in the bathroom where she told me she didn’t want to go to her Mamaw’s house when they left. I told her we would talk about it later but she needed to enjoy her party or I would tell everyone to take the gifts back and “don’t think I wont”. We go back and decide its cake time. At which point my daughter had a melt down. She bit her tongue and began to cry and continued to cry and grab her head and say she had a headache. Flashes of “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” rang in my head. I once again, grabbed her arm and took her out. She was holding her head and crying about a headache saying the music was too loud and she was hot. So, we went outside for a few minutes to cool off and then it was present time. Mind you, we are half way through the party and I have YET to receive the pitcher of soda that was included in the price and not one single time has anyone come to check on us. So, knowing Camryn was on the verge of yet another break down, I told my mom to do her principal thing and make sure the kids don’t crowd around Cam while she’s opening gifts. They did pretty good. We made it through gift time and more skate time and it was time to go home. Praise the Lord. We survived…with no pitcher of soda, no one checking on us and a bill to pay. Trust me, I thought about just walking out but knew they had my credit card info from the deposit I had to put down. WHEW…I say again..no more skating parties. *pictures to come*

January 9, 2009 ~ Father of the Year? ~

I have felt hurt before in my life….a lot of hurt. We’ve all been hurt or disappointed in our life by the actions of someone or maybe ourselves. It’s not fun. As Mother’s we hurt for our children when kids are mean to them or when they fall and hurt themselves. I personally want to take out a child who is mean to my child (on the same hand I want to take out my child if she is mean to someone else). It makes us angry and mad and hurt. Last night I felt a new kind of hurt. Now, we all know Camryn’s “father” is…well in the words of my precious Grandmother a “stupid ass hole”, but Camryn doesn’t know that yet. I have hurt from the beginning because I know she will not have the daddy that I had growing up. I hurt because I know the things he said about her when she was a baby. However, Camryn never knew…she never had the disappointment I had about that. Yesterday was her birthday of course. We went to eat after dance and home to hook up her Wii. I let her stay up later because it was her birthday. So at 9pm I look at Charles and say “can you imagine it being 9pm and you not calling Alaina on her b-day?” because Dwight had yet to call. I wasn’t going to do or say anything because Cam hadn’t mentioned it. If it didn’t bother her I wasn’t going to let it bother me. Then my sister called. I told Camryn to come to me and she asked if someone was calling for her birthday. I told her yes and then her words stuck me in the heart and I felt a pain and hurt for her like I never have before. She came in the room and said “I’m pretty sure it’s my Dad because he hasn’t told me Happy Birthday yet.” I was angry and hurt at the same time, however it was such a different feeling. I can’t even describe it. I was holding in my tears. I hurt for her so much. After she talked to her aunt Alison I text Chance because Dwight doesn’t have a cell phone and said “Cam is waiting on you guys to call for her b-day. Please don’t disappoint her” Chance didn’t even know it was her b-day which tells me Dwight didn’t even bother to mention to them that it was their sister’s special day. Shall we all write it for him to be Father of the Year or what??

January 8, 2009 ~ Happy Birthday To CAMRYN ~

Well, it happened...she turned 7 years old today. It's hard for me to even wrap my mind around that. Like every year since she has been born, I set my alarm clock for 5:11am. I placed my hand on my sleeping baby...uhhh...big girl and praised God for her and lifted her up to him as the clock ticked over to 5:13am, the minute she entered this world. She informed Charles, when he called her this morning, that she didn't feel old but that her PJ's fit a lil tighter! :)

Camryn,
Where do I even begin? Seven years ago today, at 5:13am, my life changed in ways I can’t even explain, as I went from dreaming of a chubby cheek outline on a page, to laying eyes on your beautiful tiny face. God had you planned all along to rescue me, teach me, love me and complete me. He had you in mind years before I ever even dreamed of having a baby. In 6th grade I went to a Sissy Log Cabin with my class to learn about gems and stones and each of us got a gem from them as a gift. The one I got was a garnet which just so happens to be the birthstone of the month you were born. God knew what He was doing. You are such a sweet, tender hearted, loving, compassionate, determined girl. You can be extremely stubborn…I have no idea where you got that from! Your love for your family and friends astounds me. Your determination and perfectionism challenges me. Your faith in God inspires me. You are so grown up yet so young. I can’t imagine life without you. You are my angel and I am so thankful to God every single second of my life for you.
I know we butt heads and you get so mad at me when I’m not what you think I should be. We fight over socks mostly. You argue and pout and whine and make me so mad sometimes…but when you crawl in bed with me and I feel your little hand touch mine to go to sleep (yes, you still sleep with me) it melts my heart.
You are an amazing dancer and have such a love for dance. You work and work until you get it. I fight back tears every time I see you on stage because you are such a beautiful dancer. You make me so proud in everything you do. Your love for God and church pushes me. You are so distraught at the fact that there are people in the world today who do not love God. Your dramatic ways always make me laugh.
Some of my favorite times are when we argue about who’s favorite and how much we love each other. Or when we hear “our song” on the radio, Crush by David Archuletta, and we sing. When we watch Santa Clause 2 and “our part” comes on “uh whaaa ahhh awwww”. I will cherish the times we curl up on the couch and watch a movie together forever. The moments we sit and talk about someone in your class doing something will stick in my head. Our recent trip to El Dorado where we sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer over and over again and when we grabbed whatever we could find to use as a microphone and sang at the top of our lungs will stay in my heart forever. You are a precious gift from God given directly to me. I love you more than life itself. I pray that we will continue to have a special bond and that you will always listen to God and follow His lead. I pray that God blesses you and protects you.
This song is usually for a couple but it is so perfect for how I feel about you and the moment you came into my life:
(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness andsorrow, for better or worse, I will love you with every beat of my heart.) From this moment life has begunFrom this moment you are the oneRight beside you is where I belongFrom this moment on From this moment I have been blessedI live only for your happinessAnd for your love I'd give my last breathFrom this moment on I give my hand to you with all my heartCan't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to startYou and I will never be apartMy dreams came true because of you From this moment as long as I liveI will love you, I promise you thisThere is nothing I wouldn't give From this moment on You're the reason I believe in loveAnd you're the answer to my prayers from up aboveAll we need is just the two of usMy dreams came true because of you From this moment as long as I liveI will love you, I promise you thisThere is nothing I wouldn't giveFrom this momentI will love you as long as I liveFrom this moment on

Happy Birthday baby!!!!
I love you all the even numbers plus some!!!
Momma